Still Naughty, Helpful Mummy, Weird Man

I was naughty again today. The day started well - we all had a bit of a Sunday lie-in, even the budgies, and my people had a leisurely breakfast. I threw my ball at Mummy a few times then paced and stared out of the window pointedly when they started up a discussion about the business they want to set up just when it was time for my walk (they did that yesterday when it was time for my walk and it won't do).

It was a lovely day so Mummy took the camera out. We went round the back of the pit but we took the path so we couldn't see my people's old house cos Mummy goes all moody when she sees it cos she didn't want to move and now the new people have done it up how she would have liked to and she is envious. She says to stress she is envious, not jealous - she is happy for them, just miffed cos that was what she wanted. But she says she is happy in our little house with me and Auntie and those folk haven't got me and Auntie so she is the lucky one...

I think she thinks too much.

I usually tootle along the path and head off towards the style and the hedgey corner where I can chase the bunnies, but today I ran down the bank. Mummy called me back but I gave a little skip and charged off anyway and stationed myself between two fishermen.

I don't think they were pleased to see me. They didn't say a word, or smile at me or anything.

Mummy came down the bank after me but I didn't go back to her, I jumped into the water. That ruined their fishing! She apologised to the fishermen a lot but they still didn't say anything. She told them I don't usually do this and I'm naughty this weekend and she doesn't know what's got into me. Then she called me again, but I decided I wasn't cming out. I soon changed my mind when she got all deep voiced and said my name really sternly - I thought it would be wise to come out then, and have my lead on. So I did.

She apologised yet again as she turned to lead me away and, at last, they said very grumpily "S'alright".

I don't think they meant it! Hee hee.

We went across the bridge and started heading across towards the big posh house on the edge of our village. There is a little copse over there behind an old bomb hole where sometimes people leave unusual food and Mummy worries if I eat it. There was a strange man sleeping there - he was sleeping on a blanket, had another blanket over him, and his boots off. I didn't like the look of him so I didn't give him a sniff. He just raised his head and glanced at us,then went back to sleep. Mummy thought this was odd as most people would speak in this situation.

There are children at the big house and Mummy said that if she had young children (or even now that Auntie is grown up), she wouldn't want some man, especially some weird man, sleeping at the bottom of her garden so we walked up to the big house to tell them about him. Mummy says they have done a lot of work on the garden and it looks beautiful now. I was just excited to be going somewhere that I'm not usually allowed to go. The nice lady at the house talked to Mummy and thanked her, and when we got to the top of the drive, the man of the house drove up to us in his big car and he thanked Mummy too and said that he had moved the man on.

The rest of the walk was fairly quiet. When we got home, my people sat outside and had a drink - Auntie had stayed home to do the gardening. Auntie Angie came out and said that some man had called up to say that he had got Mummy's phone. We didn't know she'd dropped it but we went round his house and he returned it to her.

That was kind.

Mummy says that there is a saying for this sort of thing. Some people call it karma but she says 'One good turn deserves another'.

I was naughty when Auntie was eating her lunch - I kept asking for some. I had a proper lunch today - cos I have been puking a bit lately, they had me on a soft diet but today I had my CSJ and I enjoyed it. But her chicken and potato diet pie smelled lurvely.....

M people say they can't understand why I am being so naughty lately and is it a rebellion because they tried to be extra strict? I don't know why I am being naughty,but I am having fun!

That's it for now - tablet time.

all the best

Brucie xxx

I'm A Bad Boy

Well, you can't blame me. Some things just can't be resisted and anyway, serves them right for leaving me...

Ok, it went like this. The blessed birds were making lots of noise this morning and I asked Mummy to shut them up so she covered their cage with a newspaper and we settled down for a while, but then she got up to do my tablets then disappeared upstairs for a bath. I wasn't impressed by this, she is meant to come back down quickly and do Where The Puppy? with me. She had a quick breakfast then took me out for a short walk. We saw Alfie and had a little play and he jumped up and made her clean trousers dirty (Alfie is the adolescent Dalmatian who lives two doors away) and then we went home. I know what that means - a short morning walk on a Saturday means they are going out. Not fair. I had a reduced time with Mummy yesterday because of the buses.

They went to an Antonio Banderas movie called Take The Lead which Mummy says was not about a dog going for a walk, like it sounds, but about a load of people dancing. Thrills. She liked it though. She came home to me while Auntie went shopping. At the start of our walk, the farmer was spraying the fields so we went to the top path where all the oil seed rape is. Poor Mummy was struggling a bit and I kept hassling her because I don't like that walk (too many bangs). We were going to head for the woods but the farmer drove up the track with his spraying machine and Mummy said walking between two rape fields where he had been dripping spray would be a bad move so we carried on along the farm track. Once we were past the farm, she let me off the lead and I spotted something good in a ditch. I let her walk past it then sneaked back and had a really go-o-o-od roll - I was smiling and really enjoying myself, it was lurvely. Mummy went all red in the face and yelled at me to come out and she would not let me come near her for the rest of the walk. She said that rolling in a dead deer is a disgusting thing to do and I am a horrible dog! Unfair.

She kept trying to get me to go swimming in the ponds and ditches but I refused because I liked the way I smelled, and we had to wait over the fields for Auntie to come home with some shampoo before we could go home. This was ok because we saw Buster and his friend Bruce the Younger who is a Staffy and a cheeky so and so. I had a play with them and then they told off a kite and then we went home...and this is where the really not fair bit happens.....where I got tied up outside and washed. I HATE that!

















I have done lots of sulking but now I have thrown my ball and my honky melon at Mummy and Auntie and they played with me so I think they still love me.

Hee hee though because I still smell of deer a bit...

That's all for today

Bruce xxx

My Mummy, Not For Sharing

Mummy was sleepy again this morning but she went off ready to tell her friends about our walk yesterday and the funny deer story. She got back really late today, and was grumbling about the buses so I gave her a really good greeting - I jumped up on the couch and sat on my hind legs like a bunny and waved my paws in the air. She sits down and I throw myself on her lap. We like that.

We had a lovely walk. It was just the two of us and we didn't see anybody else so I didn't have to share her with anyone - so I looked like I do in the picture, very pleased (Mummy says smug - bloomin' cheek!).

Auntie came and met us at the end of the walk - we were so late, she had come out of work. Because I was sick last night (yuk), I got soft food for lunch which I enjoyed as I am bored with my dry food, which my people say I should have because it is good for me (boooo). I will like it again in a few days - I just fancy a change. I'm even bored of the chicken they give me with it...

Well, I am off. My people are going to watch American Idol and Mummy says she might groom me. I have already tormented her with my Wreck It so I might get a game out of her - she got her Sudoku wrong because I put her off, let's see if I can get her eyes away from Idol.

If not, maybe I will just stand in front of the tv. See through that!!!

all best for today

Bruce xxx

What A Nice Man...And Women, Deer And Mixed Messages!!!

Poor Mummy found it really hard to wake up this morning. She couldn't face a proper breakfast so she only had a couple of biscuits, then she nearly put her milk on the biscuits instead of into her coffee!

When Auntie came home for lunch, she was all buzzy because she had some good gossip which she was going to tell Mummy on her phone when she was walking back to work. We cuddled all lunchtime - I had my belly in the air (my favourite position) and I helped her eat some chicken.

It was just me and Mummy on our walk - well, sort of, because it turned into quite a sociable stroll. We saw Maureen across the field so we went over to see her and I had a nice play with Heidi (Blossom doesn't play). Poor Maureen isn't well - she has a chest infection and was feeling grotty. It turns out that Heidi got sick and bled from her bum at the same time as me and we were both poking around this same mud pile where people dump things and burn them and we both found this scrummy stinky rotten thing and chewed on it and got told off by our people and then we both got sick so I guess it was the manky thing that made us ill. Mummy says serves me right for eating manky things but poor me and why do I always have to get sick on a holiday?

Further on, we met Juno and her Dad. Mummy thinks Juno is daft - I used to charge at her and make growly noises (yes, I know Mummy says I mustn't do that any more) and Juno didn't used to like it, but these days she charges towards me, all waggy tail and soppy Labrador smile. I did bomb her today (naughty me) and she hit the deck, as always, but she came up wagging and was perfectly happy. Sometimes she even socks me one when I do it. Her Dad used to worry but now he sees that she doesn't care, he is ok with me. That said, Mummy still doesn't think that I should be such an oaf...

Up near the woods, there was a man with a big Four By Four standing around and staring at the field. He had a black Labrador with him who put her hackles up when we approached so Mummy held my collar in case it was a boy dog about to have a go. This silly dog showed me her teeth and said rude things to me, then she kept rolling on her back and inviting me to sniff her lady bits, but when I tried it, she would threaten to bite me. I soon got fed up with this and went over to the people to get a fuss. The man kept saying how very wolf-like and good-looking I am, which is, of course true. I enjoyed listening to them because the man was interesting. Mummy said he was a cliche because he was just like Ralph from the Fast Show in his green wellies and green Barbour body-warmer and tweed cap. He was an Agronomer - he helps the farmers decide what horrible sprays to use, and also works on shoots etc.



He was telling us how the deer behave when they want to breed. The lady deer will call the Buck (the man deer), but when he comes to her she goes all coy and tells him 'No'. He curls his lip back in an Elvis smile so he can get a good whiff of her lady smell, and then she runs around a tree and he chases her and they run round and round in a figure of eight until she decides that she will let him catch her after all.

I'm not sure what happens next. The one time I met a lady dog with a special lady smell, I sniffed her and got all confused and went back to my Mummy. Not sure what was supposed to happen there, but it made me feel all funny. I'm safer with Mummy, I'm thinking, than being with a lady dog who makes me feel all funny.

We had lots of cuddles after our walk and now I have to have my tablets and then when mummy cooks the tea, I might throw my ball at her and let her kick it cos she likes that.

all the best

Bruce xxx

Wreck It!

We went round for Geri today - here I am waiting at her door for her to come out. We had a lovely walk and Mummy took some nice nature pics - here is the first one I will show you - it shows a violet that Mummy thought was lovely.




I have been a very quiet and cuddly boy for the last few days and I pestered Auntie to bog off to bed last night because I wanted it to be just me and Mummy (and I wanted the tv off but Mummy wanted to see the end of Angel) - Mummy sleeps downstairs with me in case I have a fit because she says that's better than breaking her neck on the stairs running down to me in case I am head-banging.

I have perked up this evening and I was giving Mummy my Wreck-It which used to be a stuffed bunny but is now a shred because I like to pull it apart and then my people say "Don't wreck it" and I run further away from them and wreck it some more - my favourite game! I went outside to help the Tesco man deliver the shopping but he was afraid of me and did not pat me or anything so I came back in. I did a quick recce and made sure there were no cats out there first though - do you know, they sit on my path and taunt me. I would like to get them but if I get too close, they scratch me, especially ancient Muffin, who stands no nonsense. I can still chase them though...

That's it for today - tablet time, and Mummy wants to see The Apprentice. When Auntie does something wrong, she tells her "You're Fired!" but Auntie always talks her into re-employing her as a daughter.

I hope she never fires me!

all best

Brucie xxx

A Nice Quiet Day

We had a quiet day today. Mummy was moaning because she was on her own for once and the Radio Four play was rubbish, but then there were a couple of interesting shows - she says she is getting old because she was enjoying Making History even though they were talking about teeth (Mummy is afraid of d-words, the people who look after your teeth), then there was a story that was boring so she took some pictures of flowers and then there was a programme about words, which she liked.

We didn't see Geri - she had to go for some test thing and she sent Mummy a text message which she says is too rude to pass on but was very funny.

I am in a moody today and have had lots of cuddles with my Auntie and wanted to be on the lead on both of my walks - all these bangs are worrying me.

Well, because I am in a mood, I don't have much to say.

Perhaps I will be more myself tomorrow.

all the best

Brucie xxx

The Chief, A Bucket, And Lots Of Cuddles

I have been a cuddly boy today. After the confusion of yesterday, I was almost pleased when Mummy got up to go out at her usual time - because that meant, hopefully, she would return at her usual time and then take me for a walk! I think her leg is getting better as she slept for most of the night (so did I. I was a good boy), and wasn't groaning too much when she moved about this morning.

Auntie and I enjoyed our morning walk. I am glad that she looks happier today. Last night, she and Mummy got a little moody with each other - Mummy says it's the anticlimax now the wedding has come and gone, and also that seeing what 'proper' families look like reminds them what they haven't got...but, having said that, they both actually like having a little family and I don't particularly like sharing them so I am perfectly happy with how things are.

Apparently when Mummy had her first dog, she was only a child. She had parents and siblings all living with her and she says that everyone joined in with telling poor Auntie Beauty what to do, and none of them would stick to the words that Mummy used and Beauty ended up confused - the example she usually gives is that they would say "Sit down", which I can tell you is very confusing for a dog - which do you want, a Sit or a Down?

When she got her second dog, my Uncle Benjamin, she had already got Auntie but she still lived with her parents so she had parents, siblings and a five year old all trying to join in with the training. Benj was supposed to be bought for Auntie, but he chose Mummy to be his Mummy and when she went away on holiday when he was a baby puppy, he waited for her and on the night she came home, he sat in a dark kitchen staring at the door waiting for her to come home. Quite right too, I get that: Auntie is great nowadays, but no self-respecting Shepherd wants to take commands from a small child!

When they got uncle Barney the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel for Auntie so she would have a dog her own size to train, Mummy's Mum took him over. Poor Auntie didn't get a look in, and when she tried to tell him anything, 'Mum' would say "Leave him alone, poor little man" and he would look at her all smug and not take notice of her.

Now that they have me, I know Auntie is glad that I take notice of both her and Mummy, and as it's just me and them in our house, they can teach me things their way with nobody to contradict them or to tell me things wrong. Mind you, when Uncle Rick and Auntie Judy come over, they can play with me too much or in what Mummy thinks is the wrong way and make me too excited so I want to use my teeth and then we all get told off, dog and human, for being silly...

When Mummy came home, I gave her a big, long cuddle because I was so happy that things were back to normal. She bought home a packet of funky pens for Auntie - one has blue feathers and a crown. Auntie says it for The Chief, because she was Chief Bridesmaid and wants to keep on being The Chief! Mummy also bought a bucket, which she is threatening me with (filled with soapy water: YUK!!!) if I roll in something really juicy and smelly again like poo or a dead fish or something good like that...

After that, we had a nice walk with Auntie Geri. This weekend, she did a course on crystal healing. She told Mummy all about it and she listened very politely. I kept nosing her from behind to tell her I was glad she was walking with me again today, but also I could tell that she wasn't going to keep quiet forever. Sure enough, she couldn't keep it in and she told Geri that she doesn't really believe in all that stuff, crystals, Reiki etc. It's nice that she and Geri can toss ideas backwards and forwards and nobody is offended if the other one isn't impressed by their latest discovery.

I just don't know why humans need such a lot of entertaining...

That's it for now. There is chicken cooking and I think it has my name on...

all the best

Brucie xxx

Mummy Is Being Boring

Mummy didn't take me for a walk today. Auntie took me for both my walks, which was lovely, I'm not complaining, but Mummy is supposed to do it so it wasn't right. They said it's because her sore knee isn't getting better because she goes for long walks every day, and also because it was raining today and they were afraid that she would slip and make it worse. I stuck close to Auntie - so close I got on her nerves, especially when something went bang three times near the wood.

Other than that, they have talked a lot about yesterday's wedding and how they would do things if it was Auntie's wedding and how it would be sad and awkward with no Daddy and with our tiny family. When I was out, Claire's Dad came round and he and Mummy had a chat about the wedding too. Auntie has had a business idea about weddings now. They are always coming up with business ideas and ways to change their lives, but this might be a good one, they think.

Apparently big bro Rick has now started a blog about his birds, Sam and Dave - link at the side. Mummy says he is a stupid boy...but why not, I say, the birds may have something interesting to say!!!

Well, that's me for today. I have been cuddling Mummy lots and now I want my supper.

all the best

Brucie xxx

The Big Day

My people got up early today and Auntie went off round Claire's Mum's house while Mummy took me for a walk. We saw Emily!! And Troy! Mummy said it was sad because I really wanted to play with Emily and she didn't want to play with me, while Troy really wanted to play with me but I was focussed on Emily. She did have a little play with him though so I am glad they get on. That's nice. I just wish she would play with me like she used to. Maybe one day, eh...

We went a different way and crept around the rape fields. Mummy had not long had her tablets so she was ok, but she was chancing it, I thought cos that stuff makes her breathe funny.

When we got home, she got ready and went out. She had a dress and heels on - she didn't look like my Mummy at all!! Apparently the wedding went very well, Auntie looked lovely, there was only one awkward moment and Mummy blubbed all the way through. Silly Mummy. She said she is so happy for Claire and Geoff, and she even wrote them a poem.

Auntie is still out but Mummy came home to me. She says she is going to groom me now, which I pretend not to like but I love it really.

I want my Auntie to come home.

all the best

Bruce xxx

Just A Quick One

I'm not writing much today because we are all tired and we want to sit with Auntie because she is nervous about tomorrow.

Auntie stayed home with me today and I was teasing her over the fields by drowning my frisbee. Mummy and Auntie say that I have attitude!

In the afternoon, Mummy and I had a nice walk, just the two of us. Auntie was going to come with us but she has hurt her foot by being silly when she was practicing wearing her bridesmaid's shoes and Mummy said that they can't have a hobbling bridesmaid so she has to rest. Mummy was happy just walking with me and listening to Mark Kermode on Five live.

Auntie wants me, have to go, hope you like today's pic.

By the way, I am doing proper poos now!

all best

Brucie xxx

My Nice Day, Mummy's Sad News

Well, I have had a nice day. Auntie had a day off and she took me for a nice stroll and a Frisbee and then she went out with Claire. When Mummy came home, we went out for a nice walk with Auntie Geri (who you can see in today's pic) and she and Mummy laughed a lot. We saw Brian and Logan and I behaved myself. I didn't even growl at him.

I was very confused because Geri kept holding my lead but I did what she asked me to (I kept mugging Mummy though - I kept bouncing at her to teach her a lesson for letting someone else have my lead.) Mummy now says that if she ever has an emergency, I can go for a walk with Auntie Geri and she is the only person she would trust me with because Geri could let me off the lead and I would come back. I love my Uncle Rick but I don't know if I would behave for him. I would have to stay on the lead for him and I would pull him because I like pulling men - I always pull the vet across the waiting room when I go to see him and he's a rugby player!!! Rick is very big and strong like Mummy but I bet I could pull him along if I tried....

I am not writing much tonight because Mummy is sad. She has just heard some sad news - Mummy's friend from Australia's mother has died. Mummy cried. She feels very sad for her friend. I have to go and give her a big cuddle now.

Brucie xxx

Primrose Day

Auntie Geri said I have to mention that it's Primrose day.









Mummy had no idea. Geri said it's commemorating the day that Disraeli died, because prims were his favourite flower. Auntie said "Who's Disraeli?" and I thought it....apparently he's a dead Prime Minister from ages ago. Still, prims are cool....

My Mummy and Auntie's favourite flower is also a primrose and Mummy also likes daffodils. Auntie says that daffodils rule.

My people went off to work ok today. Mummy's friend Tracy is having a week off this week. This should mean that Mummy can go out later because Tracy picks her up at 7 and when Tracy isn't there, she goes out to get a bus at 7.14 instead. However, in truth she hurtles out of the door at around the same time because she is always going out late and keeping Tracy waiting. She is also very good at missing buses. She says it is all my fault because when we have our morning cuddle and she tries to get up and says "Mummy's got to move now, Bruce Bruce", I hook my front leg over her arm and pull her to me for more cuddles and she finds it really hard to resist me.

I think she should stay with me and not go to work. And Auntie. She should stay home too.

I didn't tell you what they did last Thursday because I was poorly on Friday and didn't write anything (Mummy had to do it). We went down the village just before the shop shut and it was dark. I needed to go to the toilet really badly, and nearly let rip in someone's garden so my Mummy said to Auntie to go home while she ran me round to the fields. She took off down the alleyway and before we had even reached the fields, Auntie had thought better of it and came storming after us, saying "Think you're going to come round here on your own..." Mummy laughed, a lot! There was a huge full moon that night, which always makes me excitable, which is probably why I pulled Mummy over. Well, Mummy has been reading about Noel Edmonds (she loves her Deal Or No Deal!)and Cosmic Ordering so she said she was placing her order and she told the skies what she wanted. She says I can't tell you what she asked for but if she gets it all, we'll have a lovely life....

She says I must say when she gets it all, or it won't work. My Mummy always is an optimist, no matter what happens to us.

She came home from work in a happy mood today but she said her sore knee was bad and she wanted a sit down before we went for our walk. I did not appreciate this!! I heckled her a bit, but she said I would have to wait and then we could see Auntie Geri so I was a good boy and settled. I did groan though...

Geri was in a good mood and she told Mummy all about her hypnosis course. Mummy was interested but she said nobody gets access to her brain. Geri explained that it's not like that but Mummy still won't do it, I know what she's like, she likes to keep any healing private between her and Auntie. We saw Maureen and Blossom and Heidi and then we saw Linda and Buster, then just me and Geri and Mummy went to the wood, where I got upset when Geri stopped so I jumped up and asked Mummy what was happening and made her t-shirt all filthy. She says I always do that if she wears white. That's not true. I always make her dirty no matter what colour she is wearing!!

Nearly tablet time again so it's time for me to go

Here are some pictures of primroses for Primrose Day

all the best

Brucie xxx

Funny Thing To Praise Me For

I got my Mummy up twice in the early hours but, funny lady that she is, even though she was very grumpy when I woke her, she plodded across the garden and looked at what I had done and then told me I was a good boy! That's not what she called me last thing last night when I went out to do a poo and trod in the one I had done earlier (Mummy says she has to let them set before she can pick them up at the moment. Now even I think that's disgusting. I mean, you don't see us dogs putting bags down your white thrones where you do your toilets and picking them up, now do you? I mean, ewww...)

When we got up, my people said I didn't have to go and see Mike the vet after all (poor Auntie) and they thought they were going to take me for a short walk and then go off for their spa. Well, it was a lovely day - there is always a chance you can persuade Mummy to stay home on a nice day as she doesn't like to be indoors if the sun is shining. I was Mr Super Charming mixed with Mr Naughty Puppy - I gambolled after my Frisbee, looking all cute and everything, and then I drowned my frisbee in the ditch several times in a row (I got it out myself. I can, you know.) My people were laughing and laughing at me, and when they sat on the log and Mummy closed her eyes, enjoying the early Spring sunshine, I knew I'd got them. Sure enough, my short walk turned into a long walk with lots of frisbee throwing and they never did go out. That's the way to do it.

We walked down to the shop in the afternoon and it was really nice. We went to the park and sat by the pond. They were looking at the fish and the newts then silly Auntie was playing on the children's play equipment. I was worried when she went "Woo!" in surprise and I wanted to go and help her, and then I got too excited so she came out. Apparently, my Uncle Benjamin, Mummy's dog before me (Auntie had her own dog called Uncle Barney - he was little, cos she was little then too) used to play on the old play equipment in the park. He used to go over it all like an Agility course - he would jump over the swings, weave around the stepping logs, run across the bridges, climb the steps and go down the slides, all sorts. It would be Uncle Benjamin's 19th birthday today if he was still alive. Mummy says that she and Auntie miss him, but they are glad they have me now, and that Benjamin would be glad because he would want them to be happy and to be looked after.

Well, I can make them happy, but they pretty much look after me!

When we were down the village, an old lady told me I was handsome. On the way home, some of my lady friends stopped and made a fuss of me. A lady called Sarah said to Mummy that she always knows how to pick dogs but Mummy told her that I picked her and Auntie, which is true. Auntie picked her too. Mummy is a Mummy who gets picked...

We went round Auntie Angie's for a little chat. Yesterday I enjoyed a gossip with her. Today I let the children stroke me. Little Lauren laughs at me all the time. I am glad I can make her smile, because then Auntie Angie smiles too, and that's good.

We found some white Bluebells over the fields and Auntie took pictures with her mobile phone so here they are, plus a picture of a Peggle (Cowslip) that Mummy took.

My people are back to work tomorrow. Mummy is working with a friend - she says working with her is like sinking into a comfy armchair.

I don't get it.

Auntie has to go to a wedding rehearsal tonight when she will wear her funny red shoes, but not the new dress or funny underwear she got to go with it. They said that Claire's wedding is on Saturday and after that, Auntie won't have to disappear quite so often.

That'll be good.

That's it for now. I need a kip...

all the best

Brucie xxx

Oh, Hello to Sue B and Hugo the Elder, Mummy thanks you for your advice :)



Peggle





Whitebells

Yukky Bum

Hello

Brucie here! I am feeling a little better but I don't feel strong enough to write much. I have had a horrible few days and am still not feeling my best. I got Mummy up twice very early this morning and all day I have kept trying to go to the loo but...well, Mummy says it's still gravy. My appetite has returned a bit, though I still don't want my CSJ (dry food) which I know is good for me. I have been eating chicken and rice and a few biscuits and asking my people for their food but my proper food doesn't appeal to me.

I wanted to write to you all to tell you what happened to my friend Ben. He is a neighbour really, we can see each other through our garden fences and I haven't always liked him but he is ok now he's grown up and calmed down a bit (puppies get on my nerves. They give me a headache!) Poor Ben was playing with a stick and it injured his throat really badly and he had to go to doggy hospital for a week - a week away from your people, that must be awful... I like to play with sticks but Mummy says she's not going to throw them for me any more, I'll have to chase my frisbee instead. I suppose her and Auntie know best.

Apart from being ill, I have had a nice Easter weekend - I have done some sunbathing with Mummy and sat and we talked with the girls on the doorstep, and we saw several of my girlfriends, including Heidi and Blossom and also Juno, who was my first love. Juno used to go all wimpy and grovel on the ground when she saw me but now she stands and wags her tail and sometimes she even socks me round the face like Heidi does.

Women!

Well it is nearly tablet time so I have to go. My people said that if my poos don't improve by the morning, I will be going to see Mike the vet (Auntie likes him!). Mummy says she just wants a decent night's sleep and so do I. At least this way they won't be going off for their Jacuzzi and Sauna and they will stay with me hee hee.


Bruce xxx

Still not himself

Bruce's Mummy here.

Bruce is feeling a bit better. He has managed some food and asked for a long walk so we really thought he was on the mend. He even had a little play with his one of his girlfriends, Heidi, and her friend Blossom and a little rrrr at our friends' Yorkies and Little Bitsa. He hasn't done a lot since, however.

Bruce's poos are still not right they look like gravy (eurgh, no Easter Sunday Roast Dinner for us!!), but there's no blood so that's good.

Bruce is very tired tonight and is flat out in the living room. He wants me to say hello to all his friends but says he needs to rest and will come back and write to you when he (God willing) gets better.

Today's pic is an old and blurry one of Bruce when he was younger, but I like it.

Thank you for your good wishes

all the best

Bruce's Mummy and Auntie

Getting better

Hello everyone. I am writing on Bruce's behalf again because he is a tired boy tonight. The good news is that he is on the mend. He slept through the night (which means we did too) and when he did go out, the result was no longer blood-stained. The vet said that he didn't have to go in unless he took a turn for the worse again.

Bruce has had a few bits of chicken and some boiled rice, which he wolfed down, and a couple of charcoal biscuits which usually help to bind him up. He had a quick walk up to the wood and a small plod this afternoon, and even asked for a little game this evening. I have left him flat out on the floor, tablets, thank God, still inside him.

Hopefully he will be right back on form tomorrow and ready to talk to you all again. I'll leave you with another recent picture, taken in the wood.

from a greatly relieved Bruce's Mummy

Brucie is unwell

Bruce is unwell so I am writing for him today. I think all the excitement of the last few days has got to him. On New Year's Day the other year, the Christmas break all got too much for Bruce and he developed colitis and we had to go to the emergency vet because he was bleeding from his bottom. Well, last night he had me up many times in the night being sick and being ill from his back end, and this morning he did a couple of bloody poos so it looks like he has chosen a National Holiday to get sick again. We rang the vet but because we have no transport and the emergency vet is a couple of towns away, she said to keep an eye on him and take him to our local vet tomorrow. If he had got a lot worse, we would have taken him anyway but we are worried about his epilepsy because we don't know how much of his tablets he has retained in the last 24 hours and, as you will know from his post yesterday, Bruce gets over-excited when it comes to cars. That's why he pulled me over and I am so sore today. And the last thing we all need is for Bruce to get over-excited when we are in a taxi cab on a busy main road and start fitting...so he has stayed at home.

The good news is that he seems a little better - he hasn't 'been' for a few hours now and he is keeping water down. Hopefully he will feel able to speak to you tomorrow. If not, then I will update you.

Best wishes to all of Bruce's friends

A worried Mummy (and Auntie)

Oops!

Oops. I'm a bad boy. I really blotted my copybook today. It's so unfair too because Mummy was happy with me because I had been good on my walk, but then I blew it. Big time. Still, I think she still loves me.

She came home in a bit of a mood today but we had a really lovely cuddle and she told me that she had been in a bad mood but now she was home with me, I had made her feel much better. That was nice. Geri came round with some stuff to put on the bathroom floor, and then we went for our walk. Me and Ben were getting on well today - we only had words a couple of times. Mummy made me lie down when I swore at him too much and she wouldn't let me get up until I stopped grumbling. I didn't think much of that, especially when she called me back when I swore at him a few steps from her.

We went a different way to avoid yesterday's stinky pond but me and Ben found another one and had a good wallow so then we had to go in a clean pond to get the mud off. Fun! Ben was swimming all round the pond - he looked like a water rat!

Geri had parked her car outside the house and when we got home, she put Ben in the car and then, when she stood talking to Mummy with the car door open, I thought I had to get in so I made a rush for it and Mummy fell flat on her back. She wasn't happy. She says she's going to ask Geri to help her to teach me to behave sensibly around cars.

Don't want to behave sensibly.

Boooooooo.

I have to go because we are going to get a Chinese.

Mmm, chicken balls... They can have the batter, but give the meat to ME!!!

Happy Easter to everybody,

much love

Bruce xxx

Pond Dogs and Posing

Me and Ben had fun today! Mummy came home in a bit of a mood today. She wouldn't let me give her a kiss because she had peeked at me through the window and she knew I had just been cleaning my bum so she didn't want my kisses. Don't see why not...

She soon cheered up when we went for our walk. When she told me that we were seeing Ben again, I got all excited and kept rushing to the window to see if him and Geri were here yet and we ended up walking down to her gate, where I barked at her to hurry up! Ben was pleased to see me and Mummy and went all wiggly, funny little chap. Over Maureen's field, me and Ben posed for today's picture. We had a nice long walk again, all the way to the second wood. Ben went back into the wood after our people had come out and were walking away. Mummy told me not to worry so I went with them happily but when he came out, I gave him a good telling off for good measure. Later on in the walk, he got fed up with me shepherding him and asked me nicely if he could come back without a warning so I let him - well, I only muttered at him. Mummy said I'm like Grant Mitchell, I just have to let them know I'm hard....

Near the second wood, me and Ben found a really stinky pond so we both jumped in. Our people weren't very pleased with us, but Ben thought it was hilarious! They said they would put us in the pit on the way home but they were so busy yaddering away that they forgot so I jumped in the ditch and made my legs filthy to remind them - Mummy says she has to post an extra pic today to show you:



We got taken back to the pit and had a swim. Ben naffed off into the ponies' field and refused to come back because he didn't want to go home but I was a good boy and went back to my Mummy.

Mummy went in the bath when we came home but after she came out, something went bang so I climbed on her lap and now she says I have ponded her trousers so she's changed them. I think I may get a grooming tonight!

Boooo. Auntie has gone baby-sitting so she isn't here again. Perhaps I will get to see more of her over Easter. Mummy wants to see a movie on Saturday but that doesn't take too long and then she says I can have them all to myself on Sunday and Monday so that makes me happy.

Time for my tablets. Gotta go. I have one more day with Ben tomorrow and then he goes away.

Oh yes, Mummy says that because Geri climbed into a ditch especially to get this picture of primroses for you all (I kissed her on the head while she was down there! Hee hee), she has to put that up here as well because she is grateful to Geri and anyway, it's a good picture. Then, she says, she will go back to her one picture rule (or she will try. Mummy is always setting rules for herself, then changing her mind...)



all the best

Brucie xxx

Rain and Cuddles

Yuk. It's raining. Mummy says that everyone says we need it because there will be a water shortage otherwise. It's funny, isn't it: my people are the same as me - we will happily jump into water by choice, in fact I have seen Mummy and Auntie swim and they swim better than me because they can dive down under the surface and I don't do that (OK, I'll stick my nose under the surface to grab my frisbee when I drown it, but that's my limit), but the funny thing is, if it rains on us or someone throws water at us, we don't like it!

Sometimes, I refuse to move when my family say "Excuse me". If I keep on refusing, they threaten to pour water on my head. I hate that!! On a couple of occasions, I have refused to budge and they did drizzle water on my head. It was horrible!! I nearly always move now if they ask me to, just in case they do it again!

I know I should move anyway, out of respect, but sometimes I like to remind them that they, women, are living with a man dog. Mummy says forget it, I'm still a boy, and anyway, tough luck, she is in charge. That's ok. I don't want to be head of household anyway...

I am very excited because I heard the two of them discussing our summer holiday. It looks like we are going back to the same place we went to last year. We had two trips there, and we had a lovely time. I was a bit unsure at first about staying in a caravan, but I soon got used to it and when we went back the second time, I was really excited. Walking on a sandy beach took some getting used to, but the really strange thing was the water. When I jump in the pit, the water is still and clear and nice to drink, but the water at the the holiday place tasted salty like my tablets and it kept moving and chasing me! If I paddled in, it would splash me on the backside! And when I stood and watched the big things that floated far away, the spiteful waves kept splashing in my eyes and made them sting!

I liked it at the seaside because wherever we went, lots of people stopped and said how gorgeous I am. Also, I found a girl dog to flirt with! She was another German Shepherd and I liked her.

I am looking forward to going back there again. I wonder if she will still be there...

Mummy came home in a good mood today, but then she spent ages standing at the sink and ranting about plasters - she says they call themselves waterproof and then they fall off at the first hint of water going anywhere near them.

Ben and Geri came on our walk. Ben kept going too far away so I kept going to fetch him. He said some very rude things to me, far too rude for me to translate here! I told him in no uncertain terms that he needed to walk nearer to the people, but he didn't listen so I had to keep rounding him up. One time, he got really far away, and I didn't know what to do because I wanted to fetch him back but then I would have been too far away from Mummy. I looked at her for help and she called me back to her and told me not to worry. I like it when she tells me that. She's in charge.

I have been in a cuddly mood today. If I get dry, I might try for another cuddle before bedtime. Auntie has to go round Claire's to try on her bridesmaids dress again so I will ask Mummy to play with my bouncy ball and hopefully, she will chase me. I like that game.

I hope you like today's picture. Mummy says there will be just one a day from now on. She says she doesn't want to spend her whole life looking at me through a lens, she wants to be able to relax and just enjoy me. That said, I am walking with Ben again tomorrow and Mummy might take some pictures if it isn't raining. We don't like rain..or ice, it ruins my puddles!! It has been snowing in the next county. Mummy says I look very handsome in snow. I like it when she and Auntie kick the snow and I chase it...or they throw snowballs at me and I catch them and they melt and then they laugh at me when I try to find them. I don't always like it when people laugh at me, but sometimes, like when we're playing, it's ok because we all find something funny and we enjoy it together.

speak again soon

Bruce xxx

A quiet day

Mummy slept ok and I gave her a lovely cuddle as promised and she left the house smiling. She came home smiling too. When Auntie came home, they talked lots, but Mummy certainly seems happier than she did a few weeks ago. Oo, she must be happy, she's playing The Rasmus very loud - that either means she's happy or she's in a very bad mood indeed, and she looks ok so she must be feeling ok!

We didn't get to walk with Ben and Geri because Geri wasn't back yet from her meeting with a friend(Mummy says it's just occurred to her that it's funny they're called Ben and Geri, and she's going to order some ice cream for the weekend. I don't get it). It was nice, though, being just Mummy and me. At the beginning of the walk, we met Linda and Buster the mad Border collie type and me and him had a run around then me and Mummy went to both woods together.

Mummy had a good detective play on, on Radio Four, and so she was happy. She says it's pretty up the woods now it's all starting to spring to life - there are catkins on the trees and primroses on the ground and all the trees are starting to bud. We didn't sit down as much as usual though and we went a funny way home because Mummy said the farmer has been spraying the crops and this is (a) bad for her breathing and (b) bad for me if I drink from ditches, which I like to do.

I had kept clean all the way round the walk but I was miffed because Mummy hadn't let me in my favourite pond and anyway, I thought she had listened to her radio too much and not paid enough attention to me - so I jumped in the ditch when we were nearly home and got my legs all black. They call me Pond Dog when I do this and say I stink!

I quite like the smell myself...

We met some nice folks on the corner. The lady said how handsome I am and she bets I know it. They all say that. Of course I know it, but Mummy doesn't call me handsome, she calls me booful. She tells me that I'm booful the whole time. She says handsome belongs to Uncle Benjamin who was her handsome man, and now she has me I am her booful boy. I like the sound of that.

Mummy went off to the doctors again and came back with different things on her finger. She didn't want to do 'Where The Puppy?' when she got home. That's our greeting - she says "Where The Puppy?" and I jump up on the couch and she jumps up with me and then I sit on her and we cuddle and she rubs my tummy. But she didn't want to do it today because I am so muddy and smelly so I sulked at her. She went off to the kitchen to talk to Auntie but then she saw how I was sulking and doing my cute face and it worked! She did 'Where The Puppy?' after all so then I was happy and went to sleep with a smile on my face.

I like it when both my people are at home.

That's me for today. Today you can see a scenery pic or two as well as a couple of nice Spring pics of me that Mummy took at the weekend.

It's alright for me, dog...

all best

Brucie xxx

On Strike

Hi again. I went on strike yesterday after I spoke to you. Mummy and Auntie were being all strict with me about me having to bring my frisbee right to them and hand it over without snatching it away again so I rebelled. That game is supposed to be fun! First I refused to come to them, then I turned my head away from them so they couldn't have the frisbee and then I went and drowned it in a ditch - twice! Mummy fished it out so I did it again! Hee hee. Today they were much nicer about the game and handed over snacks if I was a good boy so I played properly - but I still went and drowned the frisbee again, just for a laugh.

Hey, I did get it out myself this time! I'm not that naughty!!!

Last night, tall Claire came round to collect Auntie for the Hen night. They didn't look much like hens, they looked like the kids in the playground at the school up the road. I don't understand why kids have to be locked behind a fence in the daytime. When Mummy walks me past the school, the tiny kids all yell three things: they go "Doggy! and then they say "What's his name?" and then they say what everybody says about me: "He's big, isn't he?". Mummy is very patient though and doesn't get cross at having to say the same things over and over again. Sometimes I go over to the fence and sniff the little children and then they squeal and run away. Next door's children don't do that. Little Lauren just laughs at me and Ella gets out of my way.

Mummy says she's very proud because when we walk up the road at school getting-out time, children will come and pat me and I stand nicely and am polite to them and I only knock them with my bum occasionally which isn't really my fault because it's so far from my head, I'm not always aware of where I'm putting it.

Mummy and I stayed home together last night. Auntie came home late and she had had a nice time but she is very tired today.

It was just me and Mummy on our walk today. She took some nice pictures of me. I got a bit fed up with posing but she says she will put the pictures on here for me another day but not now because it's nearly tea-time and I have just been sick and she wants to watch the rest of Harry Potter. At the end of our walk, we saw Emily and Troy. Troy growled at me but I only muttered at him so I was good. When I tried to rush Emily, Mummy made me lay down but it didn't matter because she's all moody these days and won't play with me anyway. Mummy brought me home because she needed to go to the toilet. And when Mummy needs to go, we have to hurry home!

Well, I am off to lay down and decide whether I want my supper because I was sick after my tablets and I feel a bit yuk. Mummy says it's the salt in the tablets that makes me hurl. Auntie is in a funny mood this evening but Mummy is ok.

Speak to you another day. I thought you might like to see my puppy pics today.

lots of love

Bruce

A Birdy Tale

What a beautiful day! We walked with Geri again today but Ben has gone home for the weekend. We walked for miles but it's really dry over the fields and we always walk further when it's dry. I was a really brave boy today because we heard some big bangs and I didn't run back to Mummy or anything. She thinks I'm feeling safer because she's been all firm with me for the last few days - I haven't really thought it through, I just wasn't that scared today and some days I really freak out.

That's what happened the day with the birds. We were over the pit and I was having a paddle and the two swans were motoring across the water towards me so Mummy was calling me to come out. Suddenly, BOOM!, the birdscarer went off and I was really scared. I had been going to be a good boy and come out, really I was, I was on the very edge of the water, but when it went bang I just turned round and ran back into the water. It just felt safer in there so I wouldn't move. Poor Mummy was panicking and calling me in a really nice voice and then in a cross voice and I knew I should go to her but I couldn't move. The swans were swimming towards me and poor Mummy was going bright red and for a minute I thought she would wade in but then she just stopped and her mouth dropped open. The swans and some moorhens and coots and loads of ducks had all swum over to me and they surrounded me and just floated there. None of them tried to peck me or anything! They all sat there quietly and calmly and looked after me until I felt better. Mummy said she wished she had a camera as it was the weirdest thing she had ever seen. After a while, she called me again and I went to her and asked to go on the lead. Ever since then, the swans let me in the water and don't hiss at me. I guess we're friends now...

Anyway, today I was a brave boy and also very good because I only said a little bad word to a new Westie I met and didn't growl at all at the Springer Spaniel with the shooting men. Ok, I did say something rude to another Springer Spaniel with the arrogant Scottish twerp (that's what Mummy calls him) but hey, that little git (the dog, not the man. Mummy says he is a big git!!!) tried to pick a fight with me a while ago so I've got a problem with him, alright? I mean, he was heading for my back end, you know what I mean? I am an Essex bloke, after all...there are limits....

Good news. Mummy and Geri were talking about me and the dog I learned to growl from. Geri said Mummy had been blaming the other dog, but really it was that she hadn't told me what is expected of me so I have been taking my cues from her instead of from Mummy. Geri says I have been reminded of what's expected of me now.

I have a friend called Emily. She used to be my girlfriend but I don't think she wants to be any more. Mummy had said that because me and her play so roughly, maybe I shouldn't see her any more, but Geri says it is up to Mummy to teach me to stop being so silly and to not growl if she says I mustn't. I hear what Mummy's saying but it's easier said than done because both me and Emily like that game. I growl and Em does this snappy thing where she clacks her jaws and looks like she'll bite, but Mummy says that when I try to play with other dogs like that they don't like it. She says it has to stop or we'll get a bad name and anyway, it's not nice to frighten other dogs, it's nicer to get on with them and also, she says, it's embarrassing. All told I have to play nicely or not at all.

Booooooooooo.

But also hooray cos I can see Em after all. Well, after Mummy has talked to Auntie cos they decide these things together but I expect she'll agree. I'll let you know. Auntie is out doing the final arrangements for her best friend's Hen Night tonight so they'll talk about it later.

Crazy humans, they're trying to be hens now...

I hope you like today's pics. There is one of me over the fields and one at the pit with my birdy friends.

speak to you another day

all the best

Bruce xxx

Ben and Geri

Just back from another walk with Geri and Ben. Me and Ben got on better today and I refrained from killing him when he peed on my gate so I'm a good boy. Mind you, I had just demolished Mummy's Mother's Day flowers (which had been on the windowsill) when I was looking out of the window so I didn't like to push my luck.

We walked miles again, almost to the town where my vets are. Once last summer I went to the vets and jumped in a stream nearby so Mummy and Auntie walked me home across the fields because they said a taxi man wouldn't let me in the car. Auntie Raye let me in the car with Emily when I was sandy after we went to the beach one day but Mummy says that's different because she's a dog person.

Silly Mummy. Either you're a dog or a person. You can't be both.

I'm going to sit in Mummy's place now on the couch and make it soggy. She says she doesn't like this but I don't know why. I think it's nice because it makes the place smell of the fields and the ponds and of me!! Or we might sit in the garden so I can cuddle my tree and Mummy can do her Sudoku and read the paper. I will cuddle Auntie Angie if she comes out cos she isn't feeling very well.

Here is a picture of me standing in some water at the pit, and the picture at the top shows me at the pit so you can see what it looks like. The pit is a fishing lake near my home and it is a place I go to every day - we find a place away from the fishermen and then I jump in the water and have a paddle and a drink and nod hello to the birds. If bird flu comes here and I can't go in, I will be cross because I love my daily dunk.

Did I tell you that my Mummy talks to birds? She talks to roosters, she teaches them to doodle doo. She talks to geese and ducks too and to our birds, Olly and Georgie and to birds in the trees. It's funny when she talks to geese because they get all confused and start looking for the goose who talks then go GAAAAA at her because they get cross. She winds up pigeons too but she says it serves them right for keeping on cooing down our chimney.

Speak to you another day

Brucie xxx

Introduction

It's been a funny few days.

I suppose I'd better introduce myself before I tell you about it. My name is Bruce and I'm a 3 year old German Shepherd Dog. I live with my two lady owners, Mummy and Auntie, in a village in Essex, England. Mummy is Auntie's Mummy too but it's not something from Jerry Springer (well, it is a little, but that's another story), it was just easier for me to call her Auntie. But I am a very very clever boy and I can actually say their names quite clearly. Mummy taught me a trick that is meant to make Auntie cross - she says "Who's got a smelly bum?" and I'm supposed to say Auntie's name but sometimes I say Mummy's name instead just to see the look on her face. I like to laugh, as you can see in my picture.

Anyway, my week so far. Mummy and Auntie had last week off work and though they did lots of boring housework (I helped Auntie to sort out the cupboard by putting some of my toys back in, though she said she would have liked to have finished getting stuff out first but I know she appreciated it really) but later in the week they spent lots of time with me and shared their takeaways with me too which was good because I like pizza hot and curry cold the next day please. I like Korma the best. On Saturday night, I had one of my buzzy heads - I have to take tablets because I have fits and sometimes I have a bad night when I pace a lot and keep tormenting Mummy cos I feel funny - she sleeps downstairs so she can get me away from the walls if I fit because I tend to bang my head on the wall then I wake up with a headache.

On Sunday, Mummy was in a funny mood. She and Auntie were talking a lot, and I wasn't really concentrating on what I was doing so when she was playing with my stick, I went to grab it and I got her finger instead. I was gutted! Mummy held her hand up high and it was bleeding and she phoned someone then disappeared off for hours and when she came back she had a big white cover on her finger and said she had had two stitches and I kissed her. A lot. Cos I was sorry.

Mummyis going to take the last part of this week as holiday and she will be at home with me. Hooray.

We saw Buster over the fields. He's a nutter. He runs round and round and I chase him but if I get bored and I stop running, he runs round and round anyway. Crazy. He's a Border Collie cross. Mummy says they always have too much energy.

Tuesday was ok. I brought a huge branch of tree home to chew on. I cuddled it today.

Yesterday was weird. Auntie came home at lunchtime and took me out to wee and we got locked out of the house so we went round Auntie Angie's next door and she lent my Auntie some boots that were way too big for her and we went for an extra walk. Mummy was coming home late because she went to the doctors to get the white thing on her finger changed to a smaller white thing so we went down to meet her and I made Mummy all muddy, which was funny. Well, I thought so. I got to eat up Auntie's lunch too, which was a result. Auntie had to go back to work so me and Mummy went for our walk and I helped her to eat her lunch later and she missed Deal Or No Deal. She was tired so we had a nap and a nice cuddle together. Bliss.

Today, Auntie Geri came on our walk and her and Mummy were all strict with me because I rushed Ben, the spoiled Cocker Spaniel Geri is looking after. Mummy said if he swore at me I could swear back but I'm not to go first. Mummy wants me not to do it any more. She says that growling at other dogs is rude behaviour and I must not do it, or other dogs will not understand that I only want to play. It's a habit I've picked up from an old friend, but Mummy's right, the other dogs don't like it...

That's it for now. Another day I might tell you about the day the birds protected me or how I chose my owners (Auntie chose her too, she says. Mummy is her Pokemon), or how much everyone here likes me but for now I will leave you with another picture of me because I am booful. And as you can see I am happy because I can count how many people have come to admire me...