Introduction

It's been a funny few days.

I suppose I'd better introduce myself before I tell you about it. My name is Bruce and I'm a 3 year old German Shepherd Dog. I live with my two lady owners, Mummy and Auntie, in a village in Essex, England. Mummy is Auntie's Mummy too but it's not something from Jerry Springer (well, it is a little, but that's another story), it was just easier for me to call her Auntie. But I am a very very clever boy and I can actually say their names quite clearly. Mummy taught me a trick that is meant to make Auntie cross - she says "Who's got a smelly bum?" and I'm supposed to say Auntie's name but sometimes I say Mummy's name instead just to see the look on her face. I like to laugh, as you can see in my picture.

Anyway, my week so far. Mummy and Auntie had last week off work and though they did lots of boring housework (I helped Auntie to sort out the cupboard by putting some of my toys back in, though she said she would have liked to have finished getting stuff out first but I know she appreciated it really) but later in the week they spent lots of time with me and shared their takeaways with me too which was good because I like pizza hot and curry cold the next day please. I like Korma the best. On Saturday night, I had one of my buzzy heads - I have to take tablets because I have fits and sometimes I have a bad night when I pace a lot and keep tormenting Mummy cos I feel funny - she sleeps downstairs so she can get me away from the walls if I fit because I tend to bang my head on the wall then I wake up with a headache.

On Sunday, Mummy was in a funny mood. She and Auntie were talking a lot, and I wasn't really concentrating on what I was doing so when she was playing with my stick, I went to grab it and I got her finger instead. I was gutted! Mummy held her hand up high and it was bleeding and she phoned someone then disappeared off for hours and when she came back she had a big white cover on her finger and said she had had two stitches and I kissed her. A lot. Cos I was sorry.

Mummyis going to take the last part of this week as holiday and she will be at home with me. Hooray.

We saw Buster over the fields. He's a nutter. He runs round and round and I chase him but if I get bored and I stop running, he runs round and round anyway. Crazy. He's a Border Collie cross. Mummy says they always have too much energy.

Tuesday was ok. I brought a huge branch of tree home to chew on. I cuddled it today.

Yesterday was weird. Auntie came home at lunchtime and took me out to wee and we got locked out of the house so we went round Auntie Angie's next door and she lent my Auntie some boots that were way too big for her and we went for an extra walk. Mummy was coming home late because she went to the doctors to get the white thing on her finger changed to a smaller white thing so we went down to meet her and I made Mummy all muddy, which was funny. Well, I thought so. I got to eat up Auntie's lunch too, which was a result. Auntie had to go back to work so me and Mummy went for our walk and I helped her to eat her lunch later and she missed Deal Or No Deal. She was tired so we had a nap and a nice cuddle together. Bliss.

Today, Auntie Geri came on our walk and her and Mummy were all strict with me because I rushed Ben, the spoiled Cocker Spaniel Geri is looking after. Mummy said if he swore at me I could swear back but I'm not to go first. Mummy wants me not to do it any more. She says that growling at other dogs is rude behaviour and I must not do it, or other dogs will not understand that I only want to play. It's a habit I've picked up from an old friend, but Mummy's right, the other dogs don't like it...

That's it for now. Another day I might tell you about the day the birds protected me or how I chose my owners (Auntie chose her too, she says. Mummy is her Pokemon), or how much everyone here likes me but for now I will leave you with another picture of me because I am booful. And as you can see I am happy because I can count how many people have come to admire me...